The Holy Ghost

So, I just started into quite an awesome book: Forgotten God by Francis Chan. The topic of the Holy Spirit has been coming up a lot lately: He has been spoken on at RockHarbor, I have listened to sermons on Him, and I have been reading passages on Him. When it come to the Holy Spirt, I know the basic theology behind Him. I understand how he moves, I can point you to passages in the Bible that describe Him, but do I experience Him DAILY?
Are we not called to live spirit-filled lives? You know, I wake up every morning and take my dose of One-A-Day Men's multivitamin, but what do I do about the Spirit? Do I even acknowledge Him before I head to work? Not usually.
What does being Spirit filled look like? If I were to let it all hang out, wouldn't I end up looking kinda crazy? Just me prophesying, speaking in tongues, and crying at work? Nope. Not like that. Being Spirit filled is a way we are called to LIVE, not just a crazy experience every Third Wednesday. How much more LOVING, KIND, GENEROUS, ENCOURAGING, GRACEFUL can we be when that power comes from no other that God himself? The one who embodies these attributes working through us to demonstrate His love to others!
We need to be taking the Holy 'Ghost' to heart and earnestly seek Him every day! EVERY DAY! Man, what would our lives be like if we followed through with that? :)

Exalted Among Men

I literally turned my computer back on after shutting it down five minutes ago just to write this post. I just got hit SO hard with a text that some of you may be familiar with: Luke 16:15, it reads "You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God." Jesus here is addressing the Pharisees ridiculing Him. First off, how great of a comeback is that! Go Jesus, He just let's it flow. Here is what I got out of it.
How much time do we spend focusing on ourselves? The clothes we wear (especially), the way our hair looks, the cars we drive, the way we speak, the way we WALK. What are we doing?! Why are we so caught up in looking perfect! What are we getting out of our image?
Is it that more people will think we're awesome and want to be around us? Is it that we want to be seen? Is that our way of grasping for love? Attention?
This is me challenging myself and all of you to look at the lives we lead. Are we grasping for attention? What are the reasons behind the way we dress, speak, walk etc? What things do we post on Facebook and why? Are they drawing attention away from us and toward God? If we are doing these things simply to exalt ourselves among men, that is an ABOMINATION IN THE SIGHT OF GOD. Wow, re-read that if you have to. I know I have about 5 times. We should all be living our lives to exalt God. There is nothing wrong with looking good at all! But how do we use that 'attention' or 'exaltation'?

Reading the Word

We all know the importance of getting into the Word as often as possible. It gives us life. It brings hope through understanding. It's an encounter with the God we serve. It's the book God wrote.
But what's the use of the Word of God if it's not being spoken? If we are taking in wisdom and understanding shouldn't we, just as easily, be pouring it out? What is wisdom if it isn't shared? God smacked me in the face with this one last night. Am I pouring out enough? Are any of us pouring out enough? The answer is no. God should be speaking through us at all times, whether it's an intelligent philosophical conversation between friends or just loving small talk between acquaintances. This is wisdom. Wisdom is imparted to us by God! Why shouldn't we be the branches of his tree?
This significantly changed the way I read my Bible last night. It's all wisdom and knowledge meant to be poured out! All of it!

Time Spent and Time Saved

So, I've come to realize over the past few weeks something profound about myself. I need rest. Kind of obvious huh? It hasn't been so obvious to me. The way I usually operate is I work early, take a nap about every other day to catch up on sleep (that's just me), get homework done, read the Word, and then decide whether or not I have time to hang out with peeps. My whole operation shifted this past few weeks. Here's how:

I decided that in every aspect of my life "I am on full-on mission"(which is totally awesome and true), at work, at school, at the grocery store etc. I decided to just squeeze quiet times in other places. I pray(ed) out loud in my car the mornings that I open, I read my Bible on my lunch break, and in my quick spare times between classes I would read one of my books. However, any time that I had free I had been quickly filling up with a bunch of 'let's hang out's. This has been awesome, I LOVE getting to know every one of you guys better and it brings me so much joy hearing your successes and areas where you need prayer. I just forgot one small thing in all of this confusion. I did not leave time for me, not one minute.

Things that I thought were just me wasting away time and were pointless like watching tv, listening to music, and shooting BB guns were actually really cathartic for me. I realized that I NEED these activities for myself so that I can rejuvenate and once again go out  to BE on mission. I am realizing in myself that I am an introvert. Interesting. I need my times alone, and I get drained by being around others for too long. This realization has brought new life to me! I am taking time out of my day to sit and watch tv again, to play with my puppy, to read a book, to play drums. I feel alive again, and all it took was some good old-fashioned vegging out.

Spirit Filled

Hey guys! Wow, I have been feeling so blessed lately! God is so good, and I want to share a few things God has been doing through the Holy Spirit lately in hopes that you guys would possibly be encouraged!

As some of you know, there was a seminar called Empowered at one of Rock Harbor's satellite campuses in Long Beach (The Garden) and Jenna and I got the chance to go check it out. The seminar's main theme was the Holy Spirit, the gifts of the Spirit, and how to communicate with God through His Holy Spirit. Might I just say now that this was one of the most ground-breaking experiences I have had in my life.

The night of the first session of the seminar the speaker, after teaching on the Holy Spirit and the role of Him in Jesus's life, led us in a prayer. As we were all praying standing in our seats he asked that if anyone felt the Holy Spirit that they would come forward and receive prayer from a staff member. I decided to go forward because I was shivering and overly weak (as happens when I encounter God through the Spirit). The man ended up praying that I would feel the Spirit and the He would come dwell in me. WOW! I had NEVER felt the Spirit in me like that before! I felt an extreme urge to burst out in laughter, but I kept it in (which you aren't supposed to do). I ended up on the ground kneeling before God, and I had a very personal encounter with Jesus Christ through a small vision.

After that night I felt so encouraged and amazed that I couldn't hardly sleep! But I did. And the next day was a whole day filled with similar experiences: people crying uncontrollably, laughing, shaking, and some falling over as the Spirit descended upon them. There were seminars on how to pray for Spiritual Healing as well as interpreting Words of Knowledge. The night was finished up with the whole group standing in front of the stage receiving the Spirit, many many people singing and speaking in tongues (wow) and others interpreting it while the rest of us prayed for others who were encountering the Spirit personally.

Needless to say that that weekend was eventful. I had never experienced anything like that before in my life and it changed my deeply. God met me those nights. And so Sunday came around and I felt so close to God through the whole day at work and in church. That night I got baptized. I didn't think I would ever get baptized, and it was an indescribable experience. Thank you to ALL of you who met me afterward and gave me a hug. I felt so happy I was nearly in tears.

Since these two experiences I have found myself changed in the way I interact with other as work, school, supermarkets, everywhere. All of the sudden I have been brought new life and I all want to do (and have been doing) is share it.

This is simply a personal experience I had with God, but I encourage you ALL to seek Him earnestly! HE WILL MEET YOU WHERE YOU ARE! You guys are all awesome, and I wish to pray with you all very soon.

The Cost of Following Jesus

Ok, so tonight was the Saturday Night Bible Study. Loved it! During our conversing on Scripture I felt the Lord speak to me individually in one passage. Luke 9:57-62. It talks about the Cost of Following Jesus and it tells of how he called one man to follow him, and the man says let me go bury my father. However, instead of allowing the man to go bury his father, Jesus says "Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the word of God".

The way I had interpreted it was two-fold. When Jesus calls you to follow Him (to be a "Christian"), He expects to have your whole heart. On the small end of it that may mean saying goodbye to bad influences such and old friends, some television shows, maybe some music etc. However, on a larger note if Jesus walked into the room right now next to you on the computer and said "Follow me. Leave everything behind: friends, family, your job, your possessions" would you do it? For me instantly I was like holy cow, I don't know. But in reality I absolutely would. What are we here for other than to be a servant to our Lord, and if our Lord asks us to follow Him and leave everything behind we need to be able to say yes.

For me this is key, however, I notice something about myself. It would be easy for me to leave everything behind. Why? I know why. I have walked away from so many things, been pulled away from so many situations that I am used to it. I do not carry attachments to objects or people really. So for me this is a no-brainer and I think it would be simple. However, for others who have ties to family and friends and possessions that have been there for their whole life this might be terribly difficult. Still we all need to be able to uproot our lives in any manner to go where God is calling us.

Now, it is not likely that Jesus will walk up to you as you are reading this blog and tell you to follow Him, but would you be able to do it? Food for thought :)

A Piece of My Heart

I am so inspired by everyone in Circles. Every single one of you. Everyone is different, has been through different things, and has given me insight into different parts of my life. I feel so extremely blessed to be friends with you guys, and I truly have experienced some major growth in my life because of this culmination of people and ideas.

Tonight I decided to wait until all my family went to bed to sit down at my computer and journal. I came to a realization last night, as I was speaking with my mentor about myself. How do I put this into words. I figure I will just walk you through a small part of my life and explain who I am and what I have been.

Ever since my parents got divorced when I was eight, I have been sent down what feels like a whirlpool going down a drain (like you see on those TV shows when someone pulls out the plug). I have moved between houses about seven times in the last eleven years. This is a small number compared to a lot of people, but I know the effect that the circumstances surrounding these moves had on me. As I went from house to house, school to school, I slowly started to internalize myself and become a bit of a shut-out. Seeing my father scream at my mother in the parking lot of the Carl's Jr. we would meet up at to go to his house for the weekend, hearing the lies he put in my ear about my mother, listening to him cry at night when he thought I was asleep, watching my mother cry as she hung up the phone because my father was yelling at her. These incidents were more than one-time occurrences  and they shaped who I was at the time. I had been shoved into the place as the man of the house living with my mom at the age of ten. I felt that I was in charge of my mother, my younger brother, and my sister seeing as I was the only one yet to cry and breakdown.

Due to these circumstances I somehow felt forced to internalize these problems, this anger and sorrow and I became (I thought) a bit of a rock. When I was really just a statue of crumpled paper. From that age of ten and on I looked to different things to fill this incredible void inside of my heart. Girlfriends, pornography, alcohol, marijuana, ecstacy, and many other things. I found myself at the age of seventeen smuggling drugs into my bag for a high school church winter retreat. When I was there I was changed. God touched my life in a way that I had never felt. I wanted to cry, but couldn't. The last night of the retreat my best friend and I gave out lives to God and decided to walk with Christ. Since that day I have been digging myself out of a hole (weird saying). God gave me the shovel, but he decided that I was the one that needed to climb out.

I have struggled with depression, I feel, since some time after my parents divorced (maybe about nine or ten years now). I have taken medication for it, and am still on medication for it. I have seen many counselors, and am still seeing one now. And I have struggling to get myself out of the position I put myself in as a self-conscious, underachieving loner.

Why am I telling you all this? I didn't expect to write all this. But you all should know this. I feel that being with you guys: talking things through, laughing, reading, praying and experiencing God together has been the boost I needed to get myself back on my feet. I want you all to know that God put me in this group for a reason, I have significantly felt it. And you should all know that you are here for a reason too. Again, I feel so blessed by you people. You have all touched my heart in a way that you will never know.

I think the close of this should be marked by a verse that touches my heart as well. From 1 John 1:7

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin"